Our path to parenthood was guided by our desire to build a family of my own, grounded in love, patience, and resilience. After my partner Paul and I thoroughly explored various options, surrogacy emerged as the most fitting route for us. It was a path that allowed us to have a biological connection to our children while embracing the complexities of modern family-building.
Our twiblings, Margot and Tomás, were born through surrogacy in October 2022, and our journey continued with the birth of our son, Rían, in July 2024. Each step, from researching potential programmes to developing trusting relationships with the women who would carry our children, was challenging yet rewarding.
This journey inspired me to create The Surrogacy Father to help intended parents find their own unique paths to parenthood. By sharing my experience and offering guidance, I aim to support others in navigating surrogacy, finding ethical, transparent options, and creating their families in a way that feels right for them.
For me (Shaun), as a father who went through the journey of surrogacy, one of the hardest parts is ensuring I’m doing a good job and managing that ever-present “dad guilt.” Being a dad through surrogacy has come with unique emotional experiences, especially around balancing the intensity of fatherhood with a constant desire to be present for my kids in every moment that matters.
For me, as a dad, the best part are those little, powerful moments that make it all worth it. When Margot, Tomás, and Rían run to me with beaming smiles, calling out “Dadda!” and throwing their arms around me—it’s pure joy. Those cuddles, hearing them say my name, reading them stories, watching them learn something new or drift off to sleep… it’s indescribable.
Thankfully, we haven’t encountered discrimination directly as a family. However, I’m always very conscious of the unique journey our family has taken and the fact that our children have same-sex parents. It’s something that may bring situations in the future where others don’t fully accept them, but I’m incredibly proud of our family’s story and committed to raising our children to feel the same.
Our children’s history is something I hold with pride. As their dad, my role is to help them see the beauty and uniqueness in their story. I want them to grow up confident and proud of having two dads and knowing that surrogates lovingly carried them. It’s also important to us that they feel connected to their roots — they’re half Colombian, speak Spanish, and that heritage is a cherished part of who they are.
Where we eventually choose to settle is something I think about a lot. We aim for liberal communities and schools that embrace diverse family structures. When it comes to travel, we’re mindful about our destinations. We choose places in Europe, North America, and South America where we know our family dynamic will be respected. Unfortunately, there are still areas, particularly some countries in the Middle East and Africa, that we avoid for the safety and comfort of our children and ourselves.
Ultimately, our goal is to raise children who feel proud of their family and comfortable being themselves, no matter where they are.
I’d be lying if I said the path was always easy or doubt-free. Taking that first step was certainly life-changing, and we knew it had to be for the right reasons. We needed to be certain that our relationship was strong enough to withstand the challenges ahead—bringing twiblings into the world, and eventually, a third child.
Having three children under the age of two has been a juggle, to say the least. There have been days that tested our patience, our energy, and even our confidence. But those moments pale in comparison to the incredible privilege of watching our three gorgeous children grow. I never take for granted how lucky we are to be fathers to them. They’re our worlds, and while the journey to get here was challenging, I wouldn’t change it for anything. It’s a gift I’m grateful for every single day.
Yes, we worked with an agency, based in Bogotá. They were fantastic in supporting us throughout the process, and I can confidently say that they went above and beyond to make our surrogacy journey as smooth as possible. Of course, no journey is entirely perfect, and we offered some friendly feedback here and there. However, they were incredibly supportive, experienced, and genuinely caring—qualities that are essential in surrogacy. Their team was knowledgeable and motivated by the right reasons: helping couples and individuals fulfill their dream of having children. We started as clients, but I can honestly say they became friends, always having our best interests at heart. Our children’s births all required emergency C-sections, and agency was there for us every step of the way. They were true professionals who made sure we had everything we needed during those critical moments.
However, I also know that not all surrogacy journeys go as smoothly. Starting can be overwhelming, with an influx of information, misinformation, and some agents pushing their “products” in ways that just don’t align with the life-changing and emotional aspects of surrogacy. This approach didn’t sit well with me. Having seen both the positive and negative sides of surrogacy, I felt a strong call to help others navigate this path, and that’s why I founded The Surrogacy Father. Our goal is to provide honest, independent guidance to intended parents, as I’m passionate about helping others build their families. It’s truly an honor for me to support others on their journey to parenthood, sharing the experience and lessons that my family and I learned firsthand.
When considering the journey to parenthood through surrogacy, I would say be brave, be bold, and be patient. Surrogacy isn’t an easy path, but for those of us who choose it, the rewards are life-changing. We have seen how essential it is to work with the right people who share your goals and are fully committed to helping you succeed. While the journey has its ups and downs, remember it’s a biological process, and setbacks or delays are part of the reality of fertility. However, if you hold onto hope and lean on a supportive group of friends/ family, you’ll find the strength to keep going. Surrogacy is a journey that requires resilience, but if you keep moving forward, you’ll reach your dream of becoming a parent.
START YOUR JOURNEY