START YOUR JOURNEY
Planning a surrogacy journey can feel overwhelming.
There are medical decisions, legal pathways, financial commitments, and emotional considerations — often across more than one country.
This checklist is designed to help you slow the process down, ask better questions, and avoid the most common (and costly) mistakes intended parents make.
It does not replace legal or medical advice.
It helps you understand what advice you actually need — and when.
Whether you are exploring surrogacy in the UK, Ireland, the US, Europe, or internationally, this checklist will help you build a safer, clearer plan.
Core principle:
If you cannot clearly explain how you will get the birth certificate and travel documents, you are not ready to transfer an embryo.
⬜ I have written down my family structure (single, couple, LGBTQ+, donor needs).
⬜ I understand which parts of surrogacy are medical, legal, emotional, and logistical.
⬜ I have discussed expectations, boundaries, and finances with my partner (if applicable).
⬜ I have identified my non-negotiables (legal certainty, inclusivity, budget range, geography).
⬜ I have created a realistic budget range, including a buffer for post-birth stay.
⬜ I have considered my risk tolerance (highly regulated vs emerging destinations).
⬜ I understand that timelines and costs often increase during the journey.
Notes:
⬜ Surrogacy is permitted in my chosen destination.
⬜ My home country can recognise parentage from this destination.
⬜ I understand eligibility rules (age, marital status, sexuality, genetic link requirements).
⬜ I know when parentage is recognised (before birth, at birth, or after birth).
⬜ I can clearly explain the exit pathway: birth → registration → parentage → passport → return home
⬜ I know whether DNA testing is required and when.
⬜ I have checked whether law or practice has changed in the last 12–24 months.
⬜ I understand whether this is a national system or state-by-state.
Notes:
⬜ I understand the clinic’s experience with surrogacy (not just IVF).
⬜ I know how success rates are calculated.
⬜ I understand lab standards and embryology expertise.
⬜ I know the clinic’s policy on number of embryos transferred.
⬜ I understand all testing requirements (IP, donor, surrogate).
⬜ I know what happens if:
• embryos do not survive thaw
• transfers fail
• additional cycles are needed
⬜ I understand who pays for extra tests, medications, or complications.
⬜ I have reviewed the prenatal care plan.
Notes:
⬜ I know how surrogates are recruited.
⬜ I understand the medical screening process.
⬜ I understand the psychological screening process.
⬜ I know how informed consent is handled.
⬜ I know what support the surrogate receives during pregnancy.
⬜ I understand the financial structure and how payments are tracked.
⬜ I know how communication will be managed during pregnancy.
⬜ I understand support available if complications arise.
Notes:
⬜ I have independent legal advice in the destination country.
⬜ I have legal advice in my home country.
⬜ I understand exactly:
• who is the legal parent at birth
• whose name is on the first birth certificate
• what steps secure final parentage
⬜ I know what documentation I must keep (consents, contracts, receipts).
⬜ I have reviewed contracts covering:
• medical decision-making
• complications
• insurance
• dispute handling
⬜ I know what happens if plans change mid-journey.
Notes:
⬜ I know which hospital the birth will take place in.
⬜ I have checked neonatal care capabilities.
⬜ I know who can legally consent to newborn treatment after birth.
⬜ I have an early-birth or complication plan.
⬜ I have emergency funds set aside.
⬜ I have a document pack ready (passports, copies, translations).
⬜ I understand support for the surrogate after delivery.
⬜ I have a communication plan for labour and emergencies.
Notes:
⬜ I have a written step-by-step timeline for documentation.
⬜ I know how birth registration works in this destination.
⬜ I understand any DNA testing process and who organises it.
⬜ I know which embassy handles my case.
⬜ I understand realistic timelines to leave the country.
⬜ I have budgeted for a longer stay if needed.
⬜ I am keeping digital and physical copies of all documents.
⬜ I know what legal steps must be completed after returning home.
Notes:
⬜ Paediatric follow-up care is arranged.
⬜ Pregnancy and birth records are stored safely.
⬜ Home-country legal steps are completed or scheduled.
⬜ We have thought about how to talk to our child about their story.
⬜ Donor and surrogate information is stored securely.
⬜ Emotional support is in place for the post-birth transition.
Notes:
Before proceeding, I can clearly answer:
⬜ How do I become my child’s legal parent?
⬜ How do I get my child a passport or travel document?
⬜ What happens if something goes wrong medically or legally?
⬜ Who in this process is truly independent?
⬜ Am I choosing clarity, not just speed or cost?
If any of these feel uncertain, pause and seek clarity before moving forward.
Clarity first.
Embryo transfer later.
This checklist was created by Shaun Thomas, Founder of The Surrogacy Father and an intended parent who has completed the international surrogacy journey himself.
Drawing on lived experience and years supporting other intended parents, this checklist is designed to help families plan safer, more informed surrogacy journeys — with clarity from the very beginning.
Every surrogacy journey is different.
If you would like independent guidance on destinations, legal planning, or building the right team, you can book a consultation.
